Getting to the Bottom of Things
by subtle tea
Summary: In the sixth episode from the first season Thomas made a comment about Cora. What would happen if it got back to Robert?
1. Downstairs

When the upstairs table was cleared after dinner, much of the household staff at Downton Abbey had a brief respite before the guests left, there was more cleaning to be done, and a family to ready for bed. A few of the servants sat talking and joking about various things as they waited for the bells to be rung and call them to their duties upstairs.

"Tell them what you told me before, Thomas - you're so funny, " Daisy said with a somewhat dreamy look in her eyes. "Tell them what you said about Her Ladyship."

"Your onto Her Ladyship now? Is there no one you won't speak ill of?" Mrs. Patmore said. "Keep it up and you may well find yourself out on your ear."

"I wasn't speaking ill of anybody." Thomas said with a sly smile. "I just said she'd have a smacked bottom if she wasn't careful." There were many gasps and a few giggles at the thought of the prim and dignified Lady Cora Crawley receiving a slap to the backside. Thomas noticed the third footman, William, was predictably embarrassed by the idea. "What's the matter, William? Does thinking about Her Ladyship get you hot under the collar?"

"No, it's just that nobody would do that to someone that's grown," William said awkwardly, "and especially not Her Ladyship." Everyone in the room smiled at the young man's discomfort.

"I'll bet she'd like it," Thomas muttered. There were more gasps.

"Why do you have to be so dirty-minded?" Anna said with a roll of her eyes. "That kind of talk will get you sacked."

"Put her over a knee and hike that fancy dress up around her waist," Thomas continued in spite of the protests of his colleagues. "I'll bet she loves it like that." William's face reddened and his eyes widened as his mind visualized what he was hearing.

"What's going on here," Carson's voice boomed as he entered the room. Everyone but Thomas froze. "Something that shouldn't be, I take it." The bells began ringing and the room emptied with unusual speed even for such a well trained staff. The butler shook his head as he too headed up the stairs. He had heard it all, of course, and was furious that any employee of Downton Abbey would speak in such a crude manner about the the lady of the house. He would have to tell His Lordship.

William was on his way back downstairs when he noticed Lady Crawley walking down the hall. Just then her bracelet dropped off her arm. As she moved to pick it up, William remembered what Thomas had said and he couldn't help but stare at her and at her bottom specifically. Unfortunately, he hadn't stopped walking and he crashed into the wall beside the door he'd been headed for. Cora heard the commotion behind her and came to check on the young footman. She knew that his mother was very ill and that fueled her own maternal instincts. He was such a sweet boy after all.

"William, are you alright? Oh, look at your forehead," Cora said as she gently touched the red bump on his head. His heart was pounding. She was so close, he could smell her perfume. "Be sure to put some ice on it when you get downstairs." She smiled kindly and noticed his embarrassment which she assumed was due to her status. "Is there something wrong?" she asked placing a caring hand on his arm.

"Yes, M'lady, err, no, M'Lady. Goodnight, M'lady," William stammered as he rushed downstairs as quickly as he could. Cora smiled to herself as she made her way up the stairs.


	2. Pillow Talk

Robert couldn't concentrate on his book no matter how hard he tried. He had too much on his mind - this business with Sybil, Mary's marriage prospects, poor old Edith, and now Cora was cross with him. He'd apologized, but he knew that embarrassing her in front of his mother and the serving staff was going to bother her for at least the rest of the night. Even so, her statement, _"The next time you want to treat me like a naughty schoolgirl, you might do it in private - not in front of the servants,"_ had a slightly teasing quality to it. He put his book down and studied the woman laying next to him. She opened her eyes and smiled. "I thought you were sleeping," he said with a chuckle.

"I thought you were reading." She sat up again sensing that her husband was not ready for sleep just yet. She wasn't either. They usually talked more before bed and it was something she looked forward to every day. She wasn't angry enough at him to forgo something she enjoyed so much. "Do you want talk about what's got you so down?" she said holding out her hand in support. He took it and kissed it gently. She giggled and moved closer to him.

"Just having you near will do me wonders." he told her as she lay on her side with her head on his shoulder. She stroked his chest and he felt the troubles of the day beginning to loosen their grip on him. "Actually, my dearest one, I was hoping to find out what had you smiling on your way up the stairs. I tried to ask you before but you weren't talking to me then. Would you care to enlighten me now?"

"Oh, it was nothing. I think I scared William. He bumped his head and I wanted to make sure he was alright. His mother is very ill but she has forbidden the hospital from informing him, so I've been feeling rather protective of him lately. I think I may have intimidated him, though. He was so nervous! He couldn't get away from me fast enough," Cora sighed, "I don't like making the servants uncomfortable." she looked up and caught her husband snickering, "Hey, what's so funny?"

Robert was laughing now. "Are you sure it was intimidation and not a touch of infatuation?"

"Robert!" Cora gasped. "Are you implying that I…"

"What I am implying," Robert said grinning, "is that he is a seventeen-year-old boy and you are a beautiful woman."

Cora was still shocked and a little embarrassed herself. "I'm old enough to be his mother!"

"That doesn't matter. At seventeen, a young man can get ideas from looking at a lukewarm bowl of porridge let alone having someone as lovely as you fuss over him." Robert kissed his flustered wife on the cheek and then the lips and wrapped his arms around her. "You give me all sorts of ideas."

"For a minute there I thought you were comparing my affections to a cold breakfast." said with mock indignation as Robert laughed.

"There is no comparison, my angel. I detest porridge." He pulled her close. "I adore you." They kissed passionately. "Cora darling, did you mean what you said earlier about me treating you like a naughty schoolgirl?" he said with a gleam in his eye.

"That wasn't an invitation," Cora said with a look that was most inviting indeed.

"Let's see just how naughty you are." Robert whispered as he rolled his wife onto her back.


	3. Upstairs

Charles Carson was a man of dignity and, most of all, devotion to his job. An estate such as Downton, and a family such as the Crawleys deserved to be served with respect and treated with decorum at all times. And yet he now found himself standing outside his aristocratic employer's study, obligated to tell him that one of the footmen had been talking about the lady of the house in a most vulgar manner. As he reached for the doorknob his one hope was that His Lordship wouldn't ask for the details of the conversation. "Good morning, My Lord. I hope you slept well."

Robert thought about his nocturnal activities of the night before and smiled. "Very well, indeed, Carson. How may I help you?"

"I'm afraid I have some uncomfortable business to discuss with you," Carson said as he came further into the room. "One of our footmen has made some comments regarding Her Ladyship that are of a rather prurient nature, My Lord, and I felt it needed to be brought to your attention."

"Go on." Robert said. He knew that this type of behavior had to be dealt with quickly. Servants' gossip didn't just travel through a house, it travelled between houses as servants wrote and talked with friends working for other families. If someone was spreading rumors that could besmirch his wife's reputation, they needed to be stopped and the faster that happened the better. "What kind of comments?"

"Um, well," Carson searched his considerable vocabulary for a way to answer His Lordship's question without speaking indelicately of Her Ladyship. "the commentary had to do with Her Ladyship's… ahem… assets and how one might… uhh… handle them." Carson's posture and tone of voice hadn't changed, but his face was as red as it could get.

Robert was perplexed. "While I don't think it is an appropriate topic for the staff to discuss, I don't see anything lewd about a conversation concerning how I handle my family's finances."

Carson sighed. "Not those kinds of assets, My Lord."

"Well then speak plainly, Carson, because I have no idea what you're talking about" Robert said as he took a sip of tea.

Carson took a deep breath. "After your reprimand of Her Ladyship at dinner last evening, one of the footmen was heard, by myself and other members of the staff, describing, in some level of detail, how one might give Her Ladyship..." Carson cleared his throat. "... a bit of a spanking," Robert started coughing. "I'm sorry, My Lord."

"And who is the young fellow in possession of such an active imagination?" Robert asked still a little stunned.

"That would be Thomas, My Lord." Carson replied.

"Why am I not surprised?" Robert grumbled. "Well, I'll let you decide on the punishment. I just ask that it's handled quickly." After Carson left, Robert went upstairs to see his wife. He walked in as O'Brien was helping Cora with her jewelry. "Thank you, O'Brien, I can take over from here." The maid noticed the coy smile on her mistress' face and quickly excused herself. After so many years in the Crawley's employ, she knew when they were hinting that they'd like a moment alone.

"Miss O'Brien, shouldn't you be tending to Her Ladyship?" Mrs. Hughes asked when O'Brien appeared in the servants' hall.

"I was. Then His Lordship arrived wanting a moment alone with her, so I left them to it." O'Brien said pouring herself a cup of tea.

"Very well," Mrs. Hughes said and left the hall.

"You'll be called back no time," Thomas said for the benefit of everyone in the room. "His Lordship's getting a bit old for that sort of thing. Her Ladyship is too, for that matter."

O'Brien huffed. "There's life beyond youth, you know? They may not be spry young things anymore, but he still has the energy to chase her around the bedroom," The ladies' maid sipped her tea. "and she still has enough to let him catch her."

Upstairs, Robert had pulled his wife into a kiss. "Mmmm… coming back for more after last night?" Cora said flirtatiously.

"Are you trying to tempt me?" Robert asked. "I wouldn't want to make you late for luncheon."

Cora sighed and pulled away from him. "Oh no, certainly not." she said with a smirk as she handed her husband her necklace so he could put it on for her.

"It appears you are the subject of some servant gossip, my dearest,"he said smiling as Cora turned her back to him. He fastened the necklace before kissing her on the neck. He let her go and watched her walk to her dressing table to get her earrings.

"What are they saying?" Cora asked with concern. "Has O'Brien been speaking out of turn?"

"No, no. It's nothing serious. It seems that, after the way I spoke to you at dinner last night, Thomas thought you might be in for a spanking."

"Oh my word!" Cora said whirling around to face her husband. "You have taken care of this, I hope. I don't want to intimidate the servants, but I certainly don't want to be mocked by them either."

Robert took his wife by the shoulders and kissed her forehead. "Don't worry about it, darling, Carson has it all under control. He's taking care of everything." He let his wife go and she went back to putting on her earrings.

"What a ridiculous notion! The idea that you would treat me in such a manner! Why you wouldn't dare! I'm not a naughty child, I'm your wife." She continued with her protestations as she leaned further over her dressing table to straighten her necklace. As Robert stood behind his wife enjoying the view, a thought crossed his mind and a boyish grin curled his lips. He crept a little closer, making sure she hadn't noticed, and then gave her a firm but gentle slap on the bottom. "EEEP!" Cora squealed as she leapt up and turned to face him. "What on earth do you think you're doing, Robert Crawley?"

He was still grinning as he moved closer to her. "Treating you like a naughty schoolgirl in private," he said as he tried to lift up her skirt.

"No, Robert, no. We're expected downstairs any minute! Stop!" Cora's complaints dissolved into giggles as they fell onto the bed together. Robert's hands caressed her they shared teasing kisses and cuddles.

Their playful romp was interrupted by the knock on the door they had both known was coming. "May I come in, M'lady?" O'Brien asked. She gave them a few moments before walking in to find them both slightly flushed and slightly disheveled. "The Dowager Countess is waiting for you both in the drawing room, I'll try to touch up your hair quick as I can, M'Lady and would Your Lordship like me to fetch Bates?" O'Brien offered.

Robert noticed one of the footmen was just down the hall. "Thank you, O'Brien, but it seems that won't be necessary." Robert said and left her to get Cora ready. "Excuse me, William, could you help me for a moment?" Robert called to the footman.

William looked up at the rumpled Lord exiting his wife's bedroom. "Yes, M'Lord," he said, trying not to imagine what activities had gotten His Lordship into such a state. He straightened Robert's hair and clothes. "All set, M'lord," he said feeling quite pleased with his work.

"Very nice, William. You'll make a fine valet some day."Robert said with a smile as he left the room. O'Brien was just leaving Cora's room with Cora not far behind.

"You look very nice, Robert." Cora said with a tiny touch of flirtation in her voice as stood beside her husband stroking his arm.

"It was all William's doing," Robert said gesturing to the young footman.

"You did a wonderful job, William. And are you feeling better this morning? How's your forehead?" Cora asked in a motherly tone. Robert watched the young man get increasingly nervous when Cora spoke to him and he knew it had nothing at all to do with her status.

"Th… thank you, M'lady. I'm quite better now," he said bashfully.

"Glad to hear it," Cora smiled and then she and her husband started down the hall. As they walked Robert's hand slipped down to give Cora's bottom a little pat. Cora gasped. "What are you doing?" she whispered, "Someone will see us."

Robert chuckled quietly. "Everyone's waiting for us downstairs. No one's around to see us." Cora didn't look at all convinced, so he gave in. "Fine, I'll keep my hands to myself… for now." The couple continued down the stairs to their luncheon where everyone assumed they had both just been dozing in their separate rooms.

William ducked back into His Lordship's bedroom before he was noticed. He wouldn't tell anyone what he'd just saw - that would be wrong - but he wondered how he'd ever be able to look at Her Ladyship without blushing again.


End file.
